tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56963365565056298052024-03-21T15:12:36.000-07:00'm not seriousno seriousness...no subtleties...am so not serious...Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-75390569571568305082015-05-08T10:53:00.000-07:002015-05-08T10:53:24.270-07:00The World Says Move On And I Ask , How?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When a
relationship fails—especially between two individuals—unexpected events unfold.
This is so because when a relationship is blooming, neither of the two parties
bother to prepare themselves for the period when either of them would have to
do without the other person in question. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That
scenario is never entertained. In fact, a mere mention of the possibility of
such a happenstance is considered a jinx. The fear of a relationship breaking
up at seams is so high that when it actually takes place, we are scared beyond
reality and scarred beyond imagination. It's quite palpable that not both the
parties would have the same inclination towards each other. One of the two
would very well—like they love to say nowadays—"move on" in style
although that's something I'm yet to grasp. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">How can
people move on? Especially when you've invested time, energy and the potion
called love into one person for an interesting amount of time. Especially when
a piece of you is left in that person who has apparently moved on and you're
supposed to move on from. Especially when it felt so real and eternal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Maybe that's
why it hurts one fine evening when you weren't expecting the memories to flood
in. Because you thought you were done. Surprise, surprise! You never were and
you never will be. That's not how a human heart works. We are animals, yes, but
we are not the kind that takes a life for granted. We are the ones who look
into each other's eyes and synchronize heartbeat. I shudder to imagine how it'd
feel like when two heartbeats are out of sync.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-17894216234495655672015-03-31T09:43:00.001-07:002015-03-31T09:43:58.967-07:00What An Idea Sir Ji .... But It Will Ruin You<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Love is a
funny thing. It fills you with hate sometimes. For yourself, not others. You
see, love is an idea. Being a warm blanket of your own creation, the badass
L-word tricks you into believing that you’re a needy creature. Consequentially,
all the arrogance that you once so openly manifested goes into the drain. As
quietly as possible—if you’re lucky enough. Your former belief that you’re
emotionally sovereign doesn’t stand true either. Throughout, every idle second,
you’re seeking a moment of respite with your beloved. Since accommodation and
distance are issues you can’t fight anymore, you get a room for two in your
head. You don’t do much though. Just lie with the side of your arms touching
each other and stare at the ceiling. You can almost hear yourself breathe. You
don’t even wish to say anything or whisper sweet nothings. Words can not only
have a mind of their own but also deceive. It’s lot better to shut up and soak.
You just stay put. This is the closest you get to becoming a film director! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s a warm
place to be. The only trouble being you don’t want to leave it but you’ll have
to. If not now, then. Which will also mark the precise moment you’ll be hurt by
the cold realities. Over a period of time, you'll be immune to the grief that
this solace eventually presents you. As a result, you’ll continue to escape to
that magical room with no walls or windows but only a ceiling to look up at. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Don’t worry.
Your sanity won’t be affected. Only your insanity is at risk. In the grand
scheme of things, you fell for someone only to lie down again and again. It's
obvious that you are addicted to the idea, sweetheart. You’re officially
ruined.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-19631336204146857832014-08-04T22:59:00.000-07:002014-08-04T23:00:39.711-07:00Her Gaze<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When a child
peeks out of the window, what does she see? A world annexed by adults who are
impossibly taller than her. She can't help wonder what lies beyond what she's
able (or should we say, allowed) to look at. There's so much going on and so
many words exchanged. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Most of them
don't even make sense to her innocent mind. Regardless, she likes being alive
and part of this fledgling scheme called family. She finds comfort in love and
friendship. It's only when she moves away from the living room towards the
window that questions flood her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The trick
behind growing up hasn't really hit her yet. As of now, she's the only constant
in this ever-mobile universe. Amazing! She stands there short with her eyes
stretching wide open. Someday, she'll be on the other side of the window. The
only problem is, will she seek answers or will she keep moving like the rest of
us? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-4208219173004327722014-08-03T22:11:00.000-07:002014-08-04T22:59:14.233-07:00Memories<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The idea of
disappointing her troubles him. So what does our hero do? He ponders. Deeply.
About the various possibilities that lay ahead of them. This makes him starkly
pessimistic but utterly realistic. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Success has
been alien to him for the major part of his life. So he goes ahead with the
thought "I don't wish to disappoint her...blah bla" and then does
what he has to do. At least what he presumes he has to do. Guess what he does.
He creates memories. Loads of them. Good, bad, silly, forgettable. But he
creates them with her as sincerely as possible. Because at the end of the day,
they aren't in a worldly relationship. They don't stick to labels or vice
versa. They are what the purists can call soul mates. And they might be
mistaken too. What they can't be wrong about are the memories. Besides, you
can't add an ex- to memories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Memories
flourish whether you like them or not. The thought process involved is almost
sacred. Like them. Perhaps why he thinks "I don't want to disappoint her
again...blah bla" before going back to her. Repeatedly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-49059202808330118462014-05-02T12:43:00.000-07:002014-05-10T11:25:45.251-07:00I am that jerk you shouldn't call!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I
still don’t understand why people call me up for relationship advice? Why? In
my opinion, if by any chance in the future there are three human beings alive
in this planet, you me and your partner and you need relationship advice, you
should talk to the blue sky rather than me. I shouldn't be even the last person
to call up for a relationship advice. But, people do and surprisingly, they
claim that my advice has helped them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Personally,
I believe I am a complete jerk when it comes to relationships. I find
maintaining friendship with a few people a strain. All the pre-requisites of a ‘relationship’
bother me. I can’t talk over the phone for more than 15 minutes (unless the
subject is my favourite sport or politics), my weekends are normally filled
with football or Sit-Coms (illegally downloaded), I don’t have any answer to
the question ‘how was your day?’ and a hell lot of other things that are needed
to maintain a relationship that won’t make my partner a serial killer (me being
the first victim of hers).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yet
the people call. A friend of mine called me up this evening to discuss about
the latest mistake that he is going to commit. I told him what I’ll do in his
place (which is not the best advice to be honest) and then I realised, why
these people call us? I have come to two conclusions and either of them might
be right or wrong (there is a bit of Schrodinger in each one of us). First,
they call me to get the outside view, a view that most normal people shouldn't
give and secondly, I think they call me up to know what not to do because whatever
I do, while in a relationship (I have been an unbelievable jerk), shouldn't be
done. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
next time you are having partner issues and you pick your phone to call me up. Think
again, one press of a button might ruin your life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Relationship
Advice (free ka hai, le lo): If it’s complicated then it is not going to work
out. A relationship should be like Philips, <i>Sense
and Simplicity</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-9872943264188946182014-04-29T11:52:00.000-07:002014-04-29T11:52:17.456-07:00The 'PM' essay.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Remember those school days when they
asked us to pen imaginative essays on 'If I were the Prime Minister blah blah'?
If only I was enlightened enough then to begin my first and final paragraph as
follows:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If I were
the Prime Minister of this chaotic country, I’d have not wasted a minute on
writing this silly piece of garbage. Besides, there's hardly any probable merit
attached to this futile exercise when all that matters is the score a student
grabs at the end of the term—forget his/her reading skills, pronunciation
or the ability to sustain a conversation in English. No offence to the
authority. Just that I’d be having far more important things to deal with if I
was the PM. Like making sure more concrete steps are undertaken to educate our
kids in a manner that will make them feel learned and proud of their mother
tongue, not forcefully Anglicized with an overdose of lingual superiority
complex. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Nice try
though, teacher.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sincerely
yours, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Honorable
Prime Minister of India. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">PS: Don't forget to vote.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-34230799110540968082013-11-23T22:42:00.001-08:002013-11-23T22:42:33.705-08:00Crazy, Stupid. How?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Love is
one-quarter deaf, half blind and a quarter mute. I arrived at this conclusion
after realizing that I’ve never really been in love since my vote became
acceptable. Nor have I felt deafness, blindness and muteness at a fixed
proportion. Though the whole business of propositioning a girl with promises
still intrigues me, I haven't asked anyone out yet. I've had moments that
lasted a few days here and there but I never felt the urge to envision a life
with someone. That's what folks in love do, right? Apparently, it requires
courage and a level of selflessness that I stunningly lack. Not a single night
has passed by when I couldn't sleep because I was thinking of someone. Nor a
day has greeted me to shake me off my daydreaming spree. Maybe I’m too idealistic
for my own good. Put in a sentence, my idea of love is simpler because it
doesn't prescribe to any condition and is bereft of pretensions. It doesn't
require someone to be something. It's either there or not. Almost all my
friends turned cosmic-eyed when they confessed they had feelings for someone
they never ended up with. That never happened to me. Too much exposure to
Manchester United, poetry and existential thoughts can do so to anyone. In
unrelated news, not very long ago, a friend of mine told me that I’ll never be
happy because I bask in my loneliness. The exact words were "How can you
be so consumed by yourself?" before my mind-screen went blank. All I
remember from that conversation is a concerned voice. It didn't belong to me. I
was three-fourth blind and a quarter mute. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-88456823393774949952013-06-21T10:37:00.000-07:002013-06-21T10:37:27.287-07:00Incoherent Rambling...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please let me be cynical. That's the least you can do for
me. In fact, you don't have to do anything. Just don't be yourself and nag. Is
that too much to ask for? I guess not. And i hope you realize sooner (if not
later) that we are alive not because death is difficult but because we somehow
find excuses to breathe a bit longer. Our pursuit of happiness is just a trick.
We don't really understand why we're glad about things that most probably won't
matter after a certain period of time. What's the point? All this chasing the
impossible dream and everything that comes in between. What i can posit is we
kill time as long as we can, before getting massacred by it. Even philosophy
can't keep us from falling into own own dungeon. Now, once you are in such
darkness, everything else seems bright. And you start learning to hope. It's
called reflex. Like the jerking seconds hand of a clock. Time manifesting
itself into yesterdays, today's and then tomorrows. Oh, yes, tomorrow is always
going to be brighter. In our head. You know why? Because we are natural born
procrastinators and the only living creatures who procrastinate. No other being
can afford to procrastinate. Apart from all these theories, cynicism prevails
hand in hand with your nagging skills. But then I let you win because i'm
cynical for a reason.</div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-3954592366996885822013-05-11T02:00:00.003-07:002022-11-08T07:29:32.736-08:00Thank You, Sir Alex<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkSgv7ImqRWDw3i3azo2txvd8s1YMMt38Y5i0Ozs_QUoLxILxOiY60IZw-HVKOfqBktdLVmgjZs3cZE5HnNS1svuxohS6i47yxbfGxcm1KGg9WJUewiC4dLKFm7KofrFsKL-1Tay6MgSZb/s1600/248051_10201049459108068_2108726154_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="624" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkSgv7ImqRWDw3i3azo2txvd8s1YMMt38Y5i0Ozs_QUoLxILxOiY60IZw-HVKOfqBktdLVmgjZs3cZE5HnNS1svuxohS6i47yxbfGxcm1KGg9WJUewiC4dLKFm7KofrFsKL-1Tay6MgSZb/s640/248051_10201049459108068_2108726154_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I started
playing the computer game FIFA by EA Sports, around 8 years back, and I always
chose Manchester United in my career modes. Whenever I played, I never named
the manager after myself, as fans of other teams seemed to do. “Alex Ferguson,”
I insisted. “The manager of Manchester United has to be Alex Ferguson.”</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif"><span style="line-height: 115%;">And yet
roughly around 10.30 PM IST on 19<sup>th</sup> May 2013, after all the other
Premier League matches end, and the final whistle is blown at the Hawthorns,
the unimaginable will happen; the manager of Manchester United won’t be Sir
Alex Ferguson. It’s an odd thought. It’s the only thing I have ever known. The
thought of Alex Ferguson not being the manager of Manchester United, is like
waking up when it is still dark outside; it should always be light outside,
when you wake up, isn’t it?</span></span></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Football
serves an odd function- if you are reading this; there is a chance that you
care about it. It’s a fascinating aspect of human lives, how much emotion we invest
on 22 people kicking a ball around a park. Football generates smiles, tears,
love, hatred (more of pity), an escape route, a sense of togetherness. Family.</span></span></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Manchester
United are often called a Family club- a massive global brand, at the centre of
which there are people who have worked in the club, long enough to remember Sir
Alex’s first piece of silverware.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Football is
also a space where it is acceptable for grown men to shed tears and show
emotions; emotions borne out of a greater loss but they manifest in the delight
or devastation we feel of some good or not-so-good kicking of a ball.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Somewhere in
this mix, when suppressed emotions that can’t be expressed in another
dimension, are given an escape valve, deep attachments are formed. And there can be no greater sporting
attachment, that what the United fans, share with Sir Alex.</span></span></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Forget the
Sir, not just because it is a relic of a feudal age, but also because it’s a
later addition. For us he is Alex Ferguson. He was our family club’s dad.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">The statistics of his success have been and
will be printed in just about every eulogy (‘eulogy’ – he’s not even dead, even
if it feels like it), but I prefer to think of the moments that he created.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">How many screams of maniacal joy – the lusty,
throaty, primate ones you think will never end – did he create?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">How many Monday-morning winks and smiles upon
entering school or the workplace, how many passionate arguments, how many
pumped fists (or fists hit off walls for those not fortunate enough to be Red),
how many moments where you just lost it, threw your head back and thought ‘<i>I am alive. This is fucking living</i>.’</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">Ferguson brought through a generation of
kids, and the surrogate father analogy was given a whole new dimension. The
Class of 92 that became the heart of Ferguson’s team must share the deepest
bond with him- David became the black sheep, Ryan, Paul and Gary became the
epitome of loyalty and young Phil was sent up the road to the successor.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">Then came the Knighthood and a passage to
grand-parenthood. Cristiano Ronaldo certainly needed a father figure and he
got one. We all watched on as Sir Alex became the elder statesman in the club,
this great manager becoming the greatest of all time, right in front of our
eyes.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">Like in all families, there was also betrayal
and tragedy. He sided with the Glazers, rather than the supporters. Perhaps he
felt that he can act as a buffer between the supporters and the owner. Perhaps
for less noble reasons. He asked us, if we didn’t like it, we can go and
support Chelsea (Or- we could bury ourselves and just go without food for days).</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">Like all dads he embarrassed us, not with his
funny dancing- the fist pumped goal celebration was joyous and a sight to
behold- but with his raw ruthlessness that could grate lesser beings. Jaap
Stam, Ruud van Nistelrooy, the weird goalkeeping blind spot. But, as you grow
up you tend to accept the frailties of your parents and realize they are not
perfect and Sir Alex wasn’t.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">I am in my mid-20’s now and has tried to
control my emotional investment on men , in a certain colored top, kicking a
ball around, to manageable levels. But Fergie is from a different era, an era
where I fought with my school friend during recess over a feisty United-Arsenal
match. Fergie pre-dates the sane me. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">I am so devastated that Sir Alex will cease
to be our manager and yet so happy, that he is retiring after giving us so many
moments to cherish. It’s a funny feeling to think about – that a man who you
don’t know, a man who organizes people to kick a ball and happens to be very
good at it, has been a serious part of your life, one of the parts that you’ll
actually think about when all is said and done. The best nights of my life were
made by my friends, my girlfriends, my family, my surroundings or by Alex
Ferguson. I didn’t cry at the montages or at the announcement but a certain
cartoon of Sir Alex, exiting the Old Trafford gates with a bag in his hands,
and players from different eras of his management, waving at him; made my eyes
heavy. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQPeCLt2SHj3rvdAweDQtC0Ot8jApaJzT0ZgrLsHLSDQOnJNxwSxnfZboOHyprzpRm0J2KeCbPJnhAkoqxqURmmQG6laX4n_d62Qsjnwhb0ChRSH0_JrFpvJNd8XunjSgqICGGJ7B3V5Nk/s1600/942959_4441461729437_1811063714_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQPeCLt2SHj3rvdAweDQtC0Ot8jApaJzT0ZgrLsHLSDQOnJNxwSxnfZboOHyprzpRm0J2KeCbPJnhAkoqxqURmmQG6laX4n_d62Qsjnwhb0ChRSH0_JrFpvJNd8XunjSgqICGGJ7B3V5Nk/s640/942959_4441461729437_1811063714_n.jpg" width="528" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">Fergie has been ruthless, and leaves our club
registered in the Cayman Islands. He hurt a lot of people, but that is not the
full story. This love is complicated.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">There has been so much human goodness- the
generous support to young struggling managers. He is a trade union man, after
all. The thousands of letters of condolence and congratulations, done without
fanfare.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">I loved my dad, even though he was not
perfect, and I love Ferguson, even though he is not either. So, thank you Alex,
for dedicating more than a quarter of a century to an entity that we love and
for giving us those endless moments, those last minute goals, the joy of
calling up my Chelsea supporting friend at 4 in the morning, after an European
Cup final. It’s been so amazing that we can’t believe it’s over. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">I understand that impermanence is a
fundamental part of nature but we thought that you’d be the exception. I will
remember the joy you brought for the rest of my life, and the pain will fade. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">And finally I will remember the mantra, which
gives perspective to a situation when the inevitable happens; 'don’t be sad that
it is over, be glad that it happened'.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span face="Verdana,sans-serif">
</span></span><br />
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Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-16872915331419045502013-03-02T09:03:00.000-08:002013-03-02T09:03:45.284-08:00'I am fine'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Somebody asked me how am I feeling today. As is the norm
with our species, I didn't offer him the whole truth. "Fine" was the
answer he expected and "Fine" was what he got. If it were a different
world where people said what they really felt like—or more importantly, what
needs to be shared—I would have elaborated on why I'm not "Fine". I
might have informed him how I usually feel like an overcrowded fast train
that's moving slowly. And not going anywhere in particular. Also, I wake up
every morning as if I had undergone rigorous imprisonment during my sleep. My
mirror had seen better faces. Of mine. Sometimes I feel like that invisible
hand pushing me over the cliff. But I don't fall down because I have better
days ahead... to address worse things. At times, I turn cold and blank and
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caught talking to myself. The voices in my head are amusing but they never let
me interrupt them. Whatever be the reason, they just don't understand me.
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my verses made me the richest jerk on the planet. This was before I became a
recluse. Every once in a while, my past relieves me and allows me moments to
cherish. Instead of holding them close to myself, I squander them on creating
one-liners I don't believe in. More often than not, I don't agree with a lot of
theories floating around but I'm loath to confrontations. That explains why I
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go on and on about what I could have said instead of just "Fine".</div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-90460550631979847772013-02-22T08:10:00.000-08:002013-02-22T08:10:51.340-08:00Being Single and Valentine's day!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Fourteenth February for everything loneliness sits on. In
case if you are in Afghanistan, it's Valentine's Day. One of the finest
outcomes of human civilization. In fact, second only to material consumerism.
However, there are mutants lurking on this planet who don't know what to do
with themselves on this specific day. Better put, they don't know what role
they play—if at all, that is—in the grand schemes of romantic permutations. You
can't blame them. They are singles who've got nothing to do with tennis. Their
singledom manifests itself in their hands every now and then. Or<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>fingers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Whatever. So apparently, the worst part about being single is you are………
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God bless you! Being single and broke might teach you invaluable lessons in
micro-financing but it doesn't provide the economy with the much-need
love-me-love-you boost it annually requires in February, you see? And it is
quite bizarre to celebrate Valentine's Day when you pretend to be deeply in
love with yourself. You just don't know what to do. You can't blend in. That is
passé. So what do you do? You become invisible to the choices that lie ahead of
you. For instance, you download movies that got nominated at Oscars. You
download movies that got criminally snubbed at Oscars. You somehow go through
the day ignoring the colour red that dominates the visuals on your streets and
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You are too awesome to be single!”</i></b> - a girl you like who is
not single</div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-52297359526484630202013-01-25T07:56:00.000-08:002013-01-25T07:56:18.932-08:00Bus-Stop<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Your
destination is approaching and you're peeking out of the window. You know
you've got to get down. But you somehow don't. You stay immobile as if you're
protesting against yourself. You don't have the will to move your ass and leave
the bus for good. Maybe you're too elated to have finally 'earned' a window
seat and you don't want to relinquish it. Moreover, you don't even care that if
you fail to act within the allotted 30 seconds, you'll have to get down at the
next stop. And commute back home. However, the countdown begins. Kolkata’s bus
service, like time and tide, stops for none. You keep looking out of the
window, staring into the nothingness that makes you travel between this point
and that. You don't even know anymore what is nice and what's not nice. You
don't expect anything interesting to happen to your existence. Your friends
from school are yet to stare out of the window. Or maybe they are better off in
some other place where humanity is not humiliated in overcrowded public transports.
You are one of the zombies now and you've accepted your future. You're probably
never going to walk and explore or stand and stare. You've learnt that your
life is going to rattle on the public roads within the periphery of this
godsmitten city. You'll never escape the loud throes that engulfs everybody on
this island of chaos nor will you ever travel alone again. You'll always be in
the company of strangers who smell worse than you. They'll be called your
co-passengers and they shall fight for those imaginary seventh seats that lie
in front of them. With such fellow-morons around, perspiration will become your
act of silent defiance. You must surrender yourself to make it or else you'll
be left behind. On the bus-stop. Outside the bus. The city is not to be blamed
nor are its inhabitants. If you really wanted to break free, you would have. By
now.</span></div>
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Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-16652349419373176012013-01-06T00:11:00.001-08:002013-01-06T00:11:46.961-08:00Strangers in the night<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">One
rainy night, he looked out of his window and then peeked into himself. The
contrast between crowd and loneliness was evident like never before. He
pondered for a minute and then took out his smartphone to foolishly text
"I think I'm falling for you!" to an unsuspecting female friend. She,
on the other side of the town, picked up her cellphone in return and read his
loud message under her noiseless breath. Since chivalry was synonymous with this
guy, it was bit of a shock to her to receive something as straightforward as
this from a person like him. Well, love indeed makes people act in irreversibly
weird ways. So she too decided to act weirder and didn't reply a word. But then
she couldn't sleep either and the same was true about her poor cellphone. After
all, she kept reading the message again and again as if it revealed her entire
future. In the end, she replied "Think again!" unlocking a brand new
gate of conversation.</span></div>
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Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-57740047439005806322012-12-30T21:16:00.000-08:002012-12-30T21:29:06.449-08:00Lost in Words<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
keep revisiting my childhood; not because I have an eidetic memory (which I
don't, anyway) but because some of my finest days dwell deep down in my past.
They weren't colorful as such. They weren't poetic either. They were rustic for
a while before getting fondled by urban chaos. Despite all that, they had an
innocent charm about themselves. Or maybe I'm thinking too much and creating
images that weren't there in the first place. Its fine, I assume, to ponder
from one thread of long-forgotten incidents to another. The trouble, however,
begins when you start living more in your yesterdays and stop looking forward
to your tomorrows. We are part of an age where imagination is dirt cheap but
petrol, shit expensive. So one has to think twice before choosing their mode of
transport. I prefer mind-traveling. After all, our generation is way ahead of its
time machine. To be honest, I don't know what I'm writing here but the voices
in my head suggest that it's OK to be lost in words. Nobody cares what you
wrote but people care far lesser for what you haven't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-39145428118563961302012-10-19T21:51:00.002-07:002014-11-23T04:56:11.925-08:00A letter to innocence(not quite)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dear me@16,</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This letter
will reach you just before you hit the worst time of your life. But it’s
alright, as you won’t be this young ever and you will grow up quicker than you
will realize. And one day, 7 years down the line, you will find yourself
writing a blog about how you could have done things differently. At that
moment, you will be short of words while being busy of finding better excuses.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I understand
you are not sure about what you want to do with life. Chill……You are not
the only human blessed with the superpower of indecisiveness. All around you
are confused, they just pretend that they know the roadmap you must take. At
this point, you might be confused about what to take, science or arts. Take
arts. You are way too awesome for science and math, and way too good to have a
*secured* future. Accept it; you are ‘head over heels’ in love with History and
Literature, and you are a closet philosopher. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Pay
attention to what I am saying as I reckon you don’t listen to anyone. I know
you better than anybody ever will, moron. At this point, you might be basking
in the glory of being termed ‘cute’ by girls. Here is a reality check; you will
be quite a disaster, when it come to relationships. Disaster is a small word,
you will be catastrophic. I am going to assure you, it won’t be for the lack of
trying. You will be having a string of “relationships” (I won’t give you the
number, you will become giddy) but none of them will work out. Here is a small advice
from your wiser self, show a lit bit more patience with a few girls; it will
pay-off eventually (hopefully). You are Gemini; you will always have a way with
words but show a little bit more patience.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Spend more
time with your father; he won’t be around for too long now. Appreciate the man
that he is and share everything with him. Somewhere down the line, you’ll
realize that he is your best friend and will always remain like that. You will
still shed tears for him, even seven years down the line.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Look after
yourself. You are already quite heavy (that won’t stop you from having the
girls), workout, run, swim, do anything that will tone you done. A back problem
is coming up, so be prepared. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get in
touch with your old friends, coz you will turn out to be someone who will keep
losing friends. Learn to make friends, you will need it. Send a common “thank
you” letter to all your teachers and tell them what they meant to you (yes,
even to the ones you hate or vice-verse). You are not as bad a poet. You could have
been worse but don’t give up the art of penning down lines (or typing down
words). Keep scribbling. Learn how to play the guitar (I know it’s an old
ambition) and please, take singing classes, you do have a good voice. Don’t
remain a glorified bathroom singer. Enjoy the Durga Puja as much as you want
right now because a time will come when Durga Puja will stop being exciting for
you. You must be wondering, ‘this is not the swinging 20’s that I am imagining
about’. Nope, it isn’t. You can imagine how you will turn out when you will
cancel weekend dates for a particular Football club you support. I won’t spoil
the fun for you anymore.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Enough of
lame advices! Moreover, there’s no point in talking sense into you anyway.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">No matter
how much I try, nothing will change. You will commit the same mistakes I did.
You’ll learn the same lessons that I learned and finally turn out to be Me@23.
It’ll be a fun ride, though at some points you will feel otherwise. Trust me; it won't be that bad. And the one
fine morning (1.30 AM), you’ll write what you are reading right now and
commend yourself for having an active memory. Like they say, it’s all
written……in destiny or on my blog.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Your very
own,</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Me@23</span></span></div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-82452287491132483622012-10-15T06:02:00.000-07:002012-10-15T10:01:17.939-07:00Bucket List<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In my not-so-humble opinion, I believe everybody should have
a Bucket List. No, not the DVD of that senior citizen movie (nor the torrent,
considering how deep we have gone into the Somalia-less ocean of internet
piracy). I mean the real thing. We may not jot down on paper or notepad, in the
fear of letting people know what we really want in our life (it will show our
true colors) but it always hovers around in the empty part of our mind (in my
case a sizable chunk of my mind). These are the stuff that you wish to
accomplish and then brag about in-front of His Evilness, devil itself (I have
long given up on heaven, too boring for me). The list could include anything
from staring at Clint Eastwood in his style and say, "Go ahead, make my
day" to visiting El Dorado (it exists) to tapping up a Playboy cover girl
(why should Hefner have all the fun??!!). Okay, I got a bit carried away with
the last one. Regardless, if you believe you are mortal (sometimes, I don't), then
I think you should have a bucket list.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">A bucket list is similar to New Year resolutions. Like, on
every January we draw up a list of to-dos and then never do them. On the
contrary, they do us.. Like that we ought to have a list that addresses our
disappointments and the apparent adaptations/modifications required to fill the
vacuum of a lifetime. The only difference between a bucket list and new year
resolution is that we don't have a movie named after the latter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Just to give an idea on how a bucket list should not look
like, here's mine. It is random to say the least and honest, to say the most.
Just lying.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #01:-Tame the shrew</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #02:- Reach the top of Mt. Everest and burp loudly.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #03:- Conserve Tulu-speaking tigers (whatever
that means).</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #04:- Find a heart that's made of glass. And
break it.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #05:- Unlearn to sing in my crowf-ed voice.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #06:- Rewrite (in)human history.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #07:- Check into Hotel California and then
leave.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #08:- Fluently talk like Marlon Brando in
Godfather sans the toilet paper.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #09:- Pen a script on Sir Alex Ferguson's life and then convince Al Pacino to play the </b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>lead and finance the venture.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #10:- Get laid.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #11:- Bag a Nobel Prize for letting others win
Booker, Pulitzer and whatnot.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #12:- Quit passive smoking.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #13:- Write a song in favour of arranged
marriages just for the heck of it.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #14:- Fcuk off for real.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #15:- Die on the last Sunday of my life.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #16:- Learn break dancing to Vande Mataram in
the background.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #17:- Discover new colors.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #18:- Strike out all the previous nine inanities
mentioned and focus hard on #10.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #19:- Make an offer that got refused the first
time around.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #20:- Learn to write the way Obama does with a
twisted wrist.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b>Bucket List #21:- Quit social media sooner or
later…whichever happens later.</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-5744582124592794062012-09-18T23:56:00.001-07:002012-09-19T00:11:23.120-07:00A Letter<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="background: whitesmoke; color: black; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b>Dear Soulmate,<br />I’m penning this piece with warm discontent against you and the circumstances that surround us. You may not be aware of me but I’ve been looking for you since I came to know of your existence. You simply couldn’t be found though. There is something about you that’s been cruelly invisible. Perhaps it’s your face. If not, then it’s my mind. In any case, I wonder about the lack of ‘us’ in the foreseeable future. Not a day goes by I don’t wish we were known to each other. It seems as if you just aren’t anywhere close. Most probably, I am searching in all the wrong directions. That must be one of the reasons why we are still strangers. Out of desperation, sometimes, I fancy you on Facebook; but then common sense prevails and I pray hard this isn’t the case! The only positive outcome of this excruciating delay is that with every passing day, we are only getting older and a bit wiser (if you may). So the experience accumulated in the meantime will tend to enrich our soul. Speaking of which, I worry about you. I admit it’s almost bizarre to do so especially when the person in question is incognito. But still, that’s true. Every once in a while I think about your well-being. I do strongly hope you are healthy, optimistic and all the blah associated with Viva la Vida. But as long as I don’t get to see you, I can only speculate. Trust me, I ain't good at it – I always guess wrong. And right now, I’m guessing that you’ve found your soulmate and are happy with him.<br />Yours,<br />Soulmate-to-be</h3>
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Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-46389403516625135152012-07-21T23:05:00.000-07:002012-07-22T04:43:48.988-07:00Review: The Dark Knight Rises<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizIl24qIt2gAEfiMinG78adTUElf3efRFFreWCaV4PxoX-5iCNuOZcnzsms_gCiGsfQ5JLfRUofdM33uNVqrQ4FzY-ejttZ8Jb3_mxQQ5pym8vPxkIgWz8fNiYbU9njNMi5VkSgsHR5Iwo/s1600/the-dark-knight-rises-new-featurette.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="377" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizIl24qIt2gAEfiMinG78adTUElf3efRFFreWCaV4PxoX-5iCNuOZcnzsms_gCiGsfQ5JLfRUofdM33uNVqrQ4FzY-ejttZ8Jb3_mxQQ5pym8vPxkIgWz8fNiYbU9njNMi5VkSgsHR5Iwo/s640/the-dark-knight-rises-new-featurette.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Let’s look
at the challenges that the makers of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Dark Knight Rises</i></b> faced. How do
you possibly follow up to greatest superhero movie ever made in the history of
cinema? How do you dispel the curse of trilogies? How do you possibly live up
to the expectations of millions and THE MILLIONS of fans who wants something
even better than what you have offered earlier? Christopher Nolan takes all of
this in his strides and wraps it around an atom bomb and thumps the trigger.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">The
Dark Knight</span></i></b><span style="font-size: 13pt;"> released four years
ago and in the meantime the fandom of Christopher Nolan’s trilogy has increased
exponentially. Nolan’s lavish imaginations and passion for real emotions had
taken his past two Batman installments to a level that no superhero movie had
ever hoped to reach. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Dark Knight Rises </i></b>is a movie
making miracle and a proof that Christopher Nolan is truly emerging as the
Superhero of a greedy movie industry. Not only did he refused to shoot the
movie in 3D just for the sake of it but shot half the run time of the movie in
groundbreaking IMAX. </span><span style="font-size: 13pt;">There are plenty of
big action scenes and excellent character moments, and it makes for a sprawling
epic in every possible way, the darkest, most complex segment of Nolan’s Batman
trilogy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;">If <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Batman Begins </i></b>was a surprisingly
gritty, no BS superhero beginning then <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Dark Knight</i></b> was a sequel of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Godfatheresque </i>level. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Dark Knight Rises </i></b>is more ambitious and darker than the last two. It
breaks the curse of trilogy brick by brick and is bombastic and behemoth in
scale. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;">The first two movies were path breaking in their own rights,
but it was quite clear that Nolan was saving all thrills and spills and
surprises for the last stand. </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">The Dark
Knight Rises </span></i></b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">just raises the bar
to stratospheric levels with gritty physical actions sprinkled with a good
amount of CGI. If the </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">The Dark Knight </span></i></b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">has an overturning truck, this one had a huge flying
Bat-mobile. The effects were so realistic, it was difficult to differentiate
between real and CGI and woven with Wally Pfister’s cinematography, the visuals
were exhilarating. The false notion of Christopher Nolan not being a good
action director were smashed with the brightly lit brawls of Batman and Bane
and the brilliantly done chase sequences. The BIG prologue involving Bane can
only be truly experienced on big screens, especially IMAX screens (next week
again on</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"> IMAX: D).</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;">It is in your best interest that you keep away from the
story details before watching the film – know that the plot takes eight years
after the events of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Dark Knight, </i>and
Bruce Wayne (Bale) has turned into a recluse, as the villainous Bane (Tom
Hardy) not-so-silently plots an apocalypse.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">The recurring cast
includes Gary Oldman who gives a more poignant touch to Commissioner Gordon.
Bale as the tormented superhero is excellent and his frustrations and pain of
losing everyone he loved, followed by his RISE is felt by us. Michael Caine’s
Alfred, frequently on the verge of tears as he talks tough Cockney love to
Bruce, imparts a depth of poignancy nearly shocking to viewers; they forget
they’re in an action picture and recalibrate their sensibilities to accommodate
Caine’s rich, naked portrayal. Anne Hathaway as Catwoman is not as sexy as she
is endearing but Joseph Gordon Levitt as the city cop (later a detective) is
brilliant. Bane may not be the Joker but Thomas Hardy emotes as much as he can
with mask on and in one of the scenes reduces Batman to a pulp. The only
problems with Bane were his lines and were not completely audible. In a theatre
with bad speakers, they can be incomprehensible. Even with bad speakers, Hans
Zimmer’s background score will seem brilliant.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;">With a runtime of 2 hours and 45 minutes the </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">The Dark Knight Rises </span></i><span style="font-size: 13pt;"></span></b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">is</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;"></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;"> </span></i></b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">a bit bloated in the middle section. In making the
biggest Superhero experience, there will be a few rough edges and the editor of
the movie, Lee Smith, could have done a tad better job. The movie shift from a
cave under Jodhpur and fast forward three months without consistency, and
certain story threads disappears without an explanation, creating some
unnecessary characters and plot-holes. These little things are a bit jarring
but never catastrophic as <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Dark Knight Rises </i></b>is a truly
immersive experience. Over the next couple of days we might hear complaints
like Bane was not as villainous as Joker, but let’s be realistic, no one can
outperform Heath Ledger as Joker. The few flaws never really weighed down the
movie as for the slightly choppy middle section, the hour long climax more than
made up for it. It’s just not the noise and fury of the climax that impressed
but the narrative coherence, and the EPIC ending that dropped my jaw till the
first row.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Even with enormous
set pieces, monstrous scope and brilliant SFX, </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">The Dark Knight Rises </span></i></b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">has something more. Nolan never lost touch with the
human emotions and enormous expectations that his audiences had. It was
brilliantly entertaining, a victory for mad passion and vision and a sly
pay-off that gives you Goosebumps and you come out of the theatre, grinning
ear-to-ear.</span><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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</div>Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-19366257962668317632012-07-10T06:18:00.001-07:002023-04-21T03:32:35.441-07:00Vampires: Blood Thirsty Menace to Sparkling Metrosexuals.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="entry">
From Menacing blood thirsty creatures to sparkling, peace loving
neighbors, the lost glories of Vampires can be attributed to one person
and one person only: Stephenie Meyer.<br />
Blood red cape, deadly fangs and blood shot eyes, this are the first
images of vampires that comes to mind when we think of Count Dracula,
inspired from Bram Stoker's novels. They were menacing mythical
creatures, vampires mercilessly preyed on humans. They were averse to
daylight and allergic to garlic. Though immortal, they could be killed
with wooden crosses and silver bullets. At least these were the ground
rules, until they were mercilessly broken.<br />
<br />
Cut to 580 years later, our average vampire is goofy eyed white
washed creatures, preying on puppies. So, what happened to the former
gory glories of the fanged creatures?? Stephenie Meyer and Twilight
happened!!! “Why do people hate Twilight?” , asked one Twi-hard to me!
Where shall I start??? Apart from the fact, it is one of the lamest
story lines you will ever come across, Miss. Meyer messed up the vampire
bit to humongous proportions and brought them down to Justin Beiber
levels. Now when you hear the word ‘Vampire’, the image that flashes
across is a sparkling Edward with a irritating Bella at his feet.<br />
<br />
In a last ditch attempt to make SOMEthing about her book seem
original (The love triangle with a whiny protagonist part, has been done
to death; Just ask Ekta Kapoor, Karan Johar, Yash Chopra etc), Miss
Meyer took every part of being a vampire and shot them too pieces. Now,
instead burning in the sun, the vampire sparkles (arghhhhhhh……), wooden
stakes and silver doesn’t affect them (you need to keep the hero alive
to keep on writing more shitty stuff) and instead of humans, the
vampires prey on animals (this is the bollywood affect, you need to
protect the integrity of the lead). On that note, I am still waiting for
PETA to send a notice to Meyer for animal cruelty. It might stop her
from writing more!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEhC0hUrRWl67Mpmyls1DzCB5gJ41yznZrS29TyzQUQCXwn082wk8wVWVJGttFJBm4pt5N2DR49808roJAoUTSqSRo4qd6jpPQpasuvVOa3XKAcUFtS7tR2TWwclKVIH9gd8CWsM1uwSUo/s1600/LOTR-vs.-Harry-Potter-vs.-Twilight.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEhC0hUrRWl67Mpmyls1DzCB5gJ41yznZrS29TyzQUQCXwn082wk8wVWVJGttFJBm4pt5N2DR49808roJAoUTSqSRo4qd6jpPQpasuvVOa3XKAcUFtS7tR2TWwclKVIH9gd8CWsM1uwSUo/s400/LOTR-vs.-Harry-Potter-vs.-Twilight.jpg" width="331" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
May be, I am being too harsh on Meyer, it’s not entirely her fault.
Thanks to Summit Entertainment, the Twilight didn’t die a natural death and
was adapted for the big screen, so we had no way of avoiding them. It
created a whole bunch of fans whose biggest dilemma in their life was
choosing between ‘Team Edward’ and ‘Team Jacob’. For us, Robert
Pattinson died a valiant death as Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter. I am
not the only one complaining about the Saga, Stephen King remarked<b>, “</b><b>Harry
Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing
what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important
it is to have a boyfriend. Stephenie can’t write worth a darn, she’s not
very good”. </b><b> </b><br />
<br />
The only silver lining in an abnormally large cloud is that the
series is coming to an end this November, with the last shitty movie
made on it getting released and we can all go happily back, pretending,
it never existed. We can forgive Meyer on one condition; She has to
promise us that she is not writing a book on wizards. A wizard with a
sparkling wand is not something, we are ready to comprehend.</div>
</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-70327458749337876022011-10-28T19:59:00.000-07:002011-10-28T20:43:25.140-07:00Twiretard........If you are reading this that you might one of the 6 million people who doesn't have a twitter or Facebook account or you also could be one of the 100 million people who have a twitter and Facebook account(plus an updated MySpace page) and you may also belong to a group of people called "Virgins", although I find that racially abusive.<br /><br />If by chance you don't know what twitter is, you've probably been living under a rock for a long time or watching re-runs of 'Drona's DVD.<br /><span>But for the purposes of this discussion, I'm going to assume you know what Twitter is, have an account on said service and think using words like Anthropomorphology in a sentence is about the coolest thing since Oscar Wilde.<br /><br />I've been on twitter for sometime now and I see it as an extension of my traumatic period that doesn't include telling a room full people PJs with the door locked(although, I must admit, some of them are PJs in their own right).<br /><br /></span><span>And by way of having been there, I've realized a few things. You may agree with some of these. You may want to blow me for the others. You may hate the spacepod that brought me safely to this planet for the remaining. Please remember that I hold veto rights to whichever option you may choose.<br /><br /></span><span>Now, the people on Twitter. I find it safe to summarily categorize them into the following on the basis of their most predominant characteristic.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. The Pricey Morons</span><br /><br />You know these people by their inflated followers count and heavily photoshopped DPs( If you don't know what a DP is, STOP READING). While most people wonder why someone who's discussing his morning transit and the colour of his poo, has a bajillion amount of followers, you'll take it a step further.<br /></span><span>You will @ to everything they say. But they won't reply. You will retweet the bejeezus out of them. But they won't follow. You'll offer to show up to clean their garage. They'll tell you the city takes good care of the bridge under which they live.<br /><br />2. <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Emo Creatures<br /><br /></span></span><span>I feel it is my utmost duty to remind these people of the following:<br />1. She/He didn't care.<br />2. You're so confused about who you are because you're gay.<br />3. I know there's a hole in your soul somewhere, but there are other orifices that need your attention too.<br />4. Most people have access to the Self help material you're plagiarizing off. And the remainder have access to HD porn.<br /><br />3. <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Wise Asses<br /><br /></span></span><span>The people who dare ask you the eternal question… "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be consistently funny, harbor self-critical tendencies AND low self esteem all at once?" And in case your answer is "No", you're quite naturally expected to go back to tweeting about the song you're listening to. Because people really do give a fuck. No really. Have one. Yes, here's a good fuck.<br />You will be reviled if you fail to consider Favstar an alternate God/deity. You will be pricked with chopsticks if you're in the news for whatever reason. And may God have mercy on you should you ever become a trending topic.<br /><br />4. <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Bulbs</span><br /><br /></span><span>You know these virile gentlemen as the guys who ask for your pics. You company for coffee. And wonder out aloud how "Your so beautyful" (sic). ALSO THE HUMAN PSYCHE CONDITION HAS FORETOLD THE COMING OF THE… (crap) Writer's blok has happened.<br /><br />5. <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Mutual Admiration Society<br /><br /></span></span><span>You mostly see these exalted members of #TeamFucktard and #TeamJackass on tweets detailing 34 people on a Friday. Fun Fun Fun Fun it is. And unless you're a. b. or d. above, you have to wonder how you're going to send across your firstborn so you can get into one of them tweets. No. I don't get your 18 consecutive Tamil/Bong/Punjabi/Mumbaiya/Australian/Uninhabited-Pacific-Atoll references or your frolicking with your friends on a mountaintop with koala bears and unicorn poop.<br /><br /></span><span>So that's it. And this had better get me some followers. You think I'm doing this for the science? Really?<br />There really are more people out there, I guess, but I sleep well not having met them yet. </span><br /><span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span>Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-62542692380877809432011-10-13T09:24:00.000-07:002011-10-13T09:47:15.792-07:00Cut the Crap.......A friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend she'd been with 8 years. I don't mind telling that's a significant multiple of time I have spent with anyone (while suppressing genocidal tendencies). And, not that the guy was any good. The first time I met him, he mad fun of her. And then he cheated on her. And he was going bald. And he used filthy language......phew.......<br />Still, when I talked to her last, she was in tears. She’d been that way for the last month.<br />Of course, its not surprising............ 8 years.....I never had 8 good days in all my 8 relationships.......... (At this point, kindly insert your condescension about my maturity in relationships into an orifice of your choice).<br /><br />When I started this, it was going to be about exes. Those people you can invoke in every single prayer; be it to the God you like best (available at leading pantheons everywhere); or the forces of death and destruction that populate the blog of a 13 year old these days.<br /><br />However in my research (FB quizzes), I'd thought I will have a little more meaning If I made it about a person that everybody hates and still wants to be with. Of course you want to read more about Heidi Klum, I’d like to make this about the person who moves on. Or perhaps, moving on. The sense and maybe the blasphemy of it.<br /><br />Moving on, just from the relationships, but all those other things to. Those things that made you cry and wish that you hadn’t thrown out that last gift from your ex. All those small little things and all those big little things that I add up.<br /><br /><p class="MsoNormal">So, between you and me, I know that it must hurt.<br />I know it must feel like you’ve walked barefoot on gravel for miles on end; leaving behind footprints deep and bloody enough that one knows you must’ve been walking on your toes the entire distance.<br />I know that sometimes all that remains feasible is to just tell yourself to stop feeling anything at all.<br />Finally, I know that what hurts more is the question of what “could’ve been”. The question of finding destinations down paths not taken, of paths that now lay broken. (I’ve read your blog. You know what I mean.)<br /><br />But I also know that underneath all the stifled laughter and the self applied “Cynic” tags, there’s still the idealist of 8, maybe 10 years ago. Someone who just didn’t know any better, and ironically enough, was better off for it.<br />Someone who was made happy by looking at kids who smiled, who danced when he didn’t know how to, who looked forward to finishing the box of chocolates so that he could buy another one.<br />In fact, if this someone was anything like me, I’m fairly certain all he wanted was to walk into a garden of Cherry Blossoms and watch shadows get longer.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As it stands, your pain is your own. It always has been. But it doesn’t have to be. Not for much longer.<br />Reach out if you can. There are always people willing to listen. Sometimes, there’re even people willing to help. If statistics are anything to go by, someone has effed’ up just like you in the past. And that nobody should let Sreesanth bowl.<br />Make bad jokes. It keeps you on the right side of sane. Plus, it gives the people around you the benefit of the Temporary Insanity plea at their murder trial.<br />Give someone a hug. I'm sure you know lots of intensely huggable people. The fact that some of them carry pepper spray really shouldn’t stop you.<br />Most importantly, remind yourself of the people you want to be happy for. And of those who’d rather share cheesecake than see you happy. (I find the latter helped a lot more. But I’ve led something of a sheltered existence)</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Whatever you do, just keep in mind that you stand as a warrior. And as this warrior you fight demons. Demons that will not relent. Demons that will bleed a river before they yield an inch. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The warrior thinks of the times of peace. He wishes he didn’t<span style="mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;"> have to fight. He is tempted by the prospect of going back to glowing mornings when the dew has not yet left. Of closing his eyes in the middle of battle to think of Cherry Blossom</span>s shedding in a shower of pink and white. In an autumn of browns and yellows, punctuated by greens.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Yet he knows he must kill, but knows not the weight of the sword he must lift. And as it happens, the sword is heavy. It’<span style="mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;">s easier to drop than to lift. An</span>d the fight is easier to run away from than to actually stay and fight.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">It seems that even when the solution is by far, the easiest thing about the whole problem, it’<span style="mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;">s the sticking to it that remains the most difficult. But then again, it also is the mos</span>t important thing in the world. The warrior did plant the Cherry blossoms himself.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So lift up the sword and try it on for size. They tell me it was made for you. And they’re usually right, even when they aren’t.</p><p class="MsoNormal">The past is right there in your head. Come back to it when you feel like it (or knock yourself hard enough on your head that you don’t have to). When you do, I recommend you stand at a window and give long meaningful glances to the world outside with a glass of Sprite in your hand. But in the meantime, look at the present.<br />It wants you to look at it too. And give it a compliment or two. It’s a little insecure like that. But take my word for it, it makes for a great date.</p>Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-66822663372113577812011-07-10T11:58:00.000-07:002013-01-05T08:23:50.153-08:00Love And Fraandship In The Time Of Facebook<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Relationships are tricky in real life. Real Life is already complicated and it is getting increasing difficult to understand in guys and girls really mean when they say something. For example girl says 'yes; when she means 'no' and guy says 'yes/no/maybe' but means 'can I get laid?' Thankfully, there are enough experts, from Dr D.K.Lodh to Ashmit Patel, to help us understand what it all means.<br />
<br />
But what happens when relationships, love and friendship go on Facebook? In reality, these days I don't give a shit but there was a time when rejecting a girl's friends request was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.......hard. But fear not there are still some retards who think they can get laid through facebook. Lets see a case study:<br />
<br />
<b>When a random person from the opposite sex on Facebook adds you:</b><br />
<b>What it means for single girl:</b> Ooh, one more friend on Facebook.. yay, now I have 678 friends! I beat *random evil girl*<br />
<b>What it means for single guy:</b> WOO HOO!!!!! This chick likes me, this chick likes me!! *Does vulgar Anil Kapoor Oscar speech dance* <br />
<b>What it means for committed girl:</b> Ooh, one more friend on Facebook.. yay, now I have 678 friends! I beat *random evil girl*<br />
<b>What it means for committed guy:</b> WOO HOO!!!! Girls STILL want me! Oooh I'm so hot and happenin' baby! *Dances like Justin Bieber in ‘Baby baby baby'* <br />
<b>When a person from opposite sex changes Relationship Status to ‘Single':</b><br />
<b>What it means for single girl:</b> Awww<br />
<b>What it means for single guy:</b> *Immediately comments* (In sympathetic tone) Heyyyy… I'm so sorry to hear that. What happened with your boyfriend? I hope you are alright. My number is 912345678, you should call me if you are sad and need someone to talk to. Please take care, please. I can't see you hurt. (*Thinking: REBOUND SEX, REBOUND SEX, REBOUND SEX FTW!!*)<br />
<b>What it means for committed girl:</b> Awww<br />
<b>What it means for committed guy:</b> ANOTHER girl's single now!! What the hell!! When I was single EVERYONE was with someone else! This is SO unfair!! Why does it always happen to me!! I hate life. I HATE life. I H-A-T-E life. F**k this s**t. !@#$<br />
<b>When a new, sexy profile pic of the opposite sex pops up on the ‘wall':</b><br />
<b>What it means for single girl:</b> Ooh, I should change my profile pic too! It's been so long since the last time I updated… today morning. Hmm, which one should I put? The one where my hair is on my face and people can only see that bit of me that looks pretty? Or the one where I look super sexy but it's nothing like how I am in real life? Or wait, I think I should just put photos of my feet. They are so pwetty! *Changes pic*<br />
<b>What it means for single guy: </b>Woah, sexy pic, yaar! Yaar, this girl is so hot. I wish she was going out with me. I wish I was not single. I wish I had sex with someone besides my hand. Should I comment on it? What if she thinks I am desperate? I AM desperate but what if that becomes obvious? Maybe I should not comment on the pic, she's already fraandship with my Facebook, I don't want to spoil that relationship. (Thinks a lot more) *Likes pic, to play it safe* <br />
<b>What it means for commited girl:</b> Ooh, I should change my profile pic too! It's been so long since the last time I updated… today morning. Hmm, which one should I put? The one where my hair is on my face and people can only see that bit of me that looks pretty? Or the one where I look super sexy but it's nothing like how I am in real life? Or wait, I think I should just put photos of my feet. They are so pwetty! *Changes pic*<br />
<b>What it means for committed guy:</b> Niiiiice! I bet I'd have got her if I'd have been single. Dammit, I'm not single :(. No one night stands for me :(. I hate life :(. I wish I was in America, people there are so open-minded, they don't mind multiple partners also. India SUCKS. Life SUCKS. Commitment SUCKS. *Starts crying*<br />
<b>When a person from opposite sex compliments you on your new profile pic</b><br />
<b>What it means for single girl:</b> *Giggles to herself* Yay, another comment! Total of 26 comments now, I'm popular! *Polishes her tiara*<br />
<b>What it means for single guy:</b> Score! I'm going to get LAID!!! Finally!!!! <br />
<b>What it means for commited girl:</b> *Giggles to herself* Yay, another comment! Total of 26 comments now, I'm popular! *Polishes her tiara*<br />
<b>What it means for committed guy:</b> She's TOTALLY into me! Aaja meri gaadi mein baith ja, baby. Man, I wish I didn't have a girlfriend! (Pause) Oh fuck, my girlfriend's going to read this! What do I do now!! I'm screwed!! I mean.. I won't be now :( <br />
<b>And finally, if you are having trouble making sense of all this brilliant advice we have doled out, here's what you do next:</b><br />
<b>If you are a single girl:</b> Share this article with your friends (and STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF YOUR FEET on your profile) <br />
<b>If you are a single guy:</b> Share this article with your friends (and stop stalking girls online – ultimately, arranged marriage is there na, you'll still get sex!) <br />
<b>If you are a committed girl:</b> Share this article with your friends (and forgive your boyfriend… it's not his fault, he was born like that… a GUY) <br />
<b>If you are a committed guy:</b> Share this article with your friends (and make sure your girlfriend doesn't read it)</div>
Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-56829497954294313272011-07-06T10:47:00.000-07:002011-07-06T10:49:08.432-07:00No We Can't be Friends, Please Die......Break Ke Baad may not be the best film to have come out this year (that’s because HISSS came out this year), but Deepika Padukone elevates it to a must-watch for two reasons. One, she is a GODDESS and we love her and worship her dimples and wish our girlfriends looked just like her!!!!!!!!! And two, her character in the film is EXACTLY how girls, who all boys hate, are. Fondly known as, ‘b**ch’. <p>The story of Break Ke Baad, if you unfortunately suffer from the IQ of Rahul Mahajan and have still not figured out, is the story of a couple that breaks up and tries to deal with what happens after that. And what happens after that is the story of EVERY couple. The guy still stays in love, while the girl turns into a b**ch. </p> <p>No, no. We are not being sexist here (we are only sexist in articles about Justin Bieber… mostly because we are confused about the sex). It’s a general rule – even when there is an equal girl to boy ratio, the likelihood of a girl getting a boyfriend is >>>>>>>>> that of a boy getting a girlfriend (unless that girl is Justin Bieber… see what we meant?). That gives girls an unfair higher power over boys (that they then wield during the time they are making the creatives for their Women’s Equality slogans). This power also comes into play once the break up happens.</p> <p><strong>Sleeping (or not) with the devil</strong></p> <p>And that’s pretty much what Break Ke Baad showcases – how girls turn from sweet, adorable, seemingly-naïve and cute Barbie dolls into heartless, b**chy, Dolly Bindra-versions of the devil that enjoy ripping your heart out and then play table tennis with it. The devil that “just wants to be friends” and who feels that “ANY GIRL would be lucky” to have us (which is a polite way of saying they want our souls). </p> <p>We’d imagine the same has happened with EVERY one of us guys. Girls breaking up with us and then doing the puppy eyes-thing and begging us to “please be friends” because they cannot live without us. But of course, they can’t live WITH us, can they? And obviously, guys, the gullible creatures we are, can’t say no, and so, we agree, even though we’d rather get hit in the nuts. </p> <p>And that’s where Break Ke Baad falters too. It’s like every other real life situation where the guy gives in to the all-powerful ex-girlfriend who wants to suck our blood… “but only in a friendly manner”. For once, we expected the guy (we are talking about Imran Khan… yes, underneath that face, there IS a guy… apparently) to give it back to the b**ch! “No, we can’t be friends, you evil, heart-ripping female re-incarnation of Hitler, you modern-day Bindu, you Kumolika! Please die.” </p> <p><strong>Reality bites</strong></p> <p>But of course, no guy’s been brave enough to say that and survive. No one’s usually even been brave enough to THINK that. While upar-upar se guys are saying, ‘Yes, of course we’ll be friends forever, of COURSE *puts cool shades on*’, in our heads we are thinking, “PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE TAKE ME BACK!!!!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!! BAA-WAA-HAA *crying* BAA WAA HAA. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!! I’LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU! WASH YOUR FEET, MANICURE YOUR NAILS AND EAT YOUR LEFTOVERS!! TAKE ME BAAAAAACK!”</p> <p>But thankfully, we hold that back (well, at least, some of us do). And act all cool outside, while dying little by little inside. Until everything is dead (well, ALMOST everything – the cool shades live on, you know!). That’s pretty much what happens in Break Ke Baad too. And for that, we hope the movie works, so people get to know the face-2 of those two-faced girls. And the plight of those poor guys… of US poor guys.</p>Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-83405517392759976332011-07-06T10:42:00.000-07:002011-07-06T10:45:13.722-07:00MercyDisclaimer #1: The following few lines are in no way sarcastic, insulting or funny….In Guzaarish Hrithik Roshan aks for mercy killing as he has been paralysed for quite a while. Kudos to Hrithik for accepting such a challenging role and huge respect to people who suffers from this condition but still has the courage to move on with life. <p>Disclaimer #2: The rest of the article is sarcastic, funny and insulting in every way possible….<br />Does Hrithik REALLY LOOK like somebody who wants to die? I mean, even as a paraplegic he looks better than 10 Zayed Khans……not a comparison…..Okay, 10 Emraan Hashmis put together. Even though he didn’t work out for 12 effing years, he still had muscles bigger then KRK’s head (KRK’s head is huge coz of all the gas in it). Plus, all throughout the the movie, he had Ash’s cleavage for company. Not a bad company to have during times of distress.</p> <p>But lets get real guys. The man who needed to be cast in this role should be somebody who REALLY LOOK like, he wants to die. I’ll make it easy, for future references on movies on death(for any reason). Here are some ‘actors’ who would fit in for such roles.</p> <p><strong>1. Mimoh</strong><br />Mimoh probably would have applied for mercy killing the day he realized that his parents were not making some sort of noise but ‘MIMOH’ was actually his name. His application gained more ground when he realized that the yellow thing on his head was not some electrical wiring but was ACTUALLY his HAIR. The final nail in the coffin (see…how I smartly inserted another death related joke? See? See?) was when he realized all through out his debut film, ‘Jimmy’, the audience was laughing not because of his comic timing but coz of his face? On screen, we mean……or do we?</p> <p><strong>2. Fardeen Khan</strong><br />Fardeen Khan’s biggest reason for not wanting to live is the fact, that instead of his wife, its he who got accidentally pregnant. And in some way the pregnancy did something to his face. On top of that he couldn’t even act, before the weight of the world dropped on his….well face. It is quite obvious that he will be super happy to do the role but we won’t be able to see the satisfaction that he will get coz of the….you know…..face situation.</p> <p><strong>3. Tusshar Kapoor</strong><br />Tusshar Kapoor holds the unique distinction of being the winner of Biggest Loser Jeetega, even though he didn’t participate in it. His claim-to-fame is acting in roles where he was invisible (Tusshar Kapoor in and as GAYAB! Hahhaha!), was required to keep his mouth shut (He was such a big hit with his mouth shut in Golmaal that they made sure he didn’t speak in two more movies), or was required to complete the background furniture (in all other movies). The audience would love to see him in a role where apart from his mouth, even the rest of him can’t move about to cause further embarrassment to human civilization. </p> <p><strong>4. Ashmit Patel</strong><br />Ever since everyone saw (we know what you did that summer!), in the iconic words of Dolly Bindra, Ashmit Patel’s ‘performance’ in his XXX-MMS, Ashmit Patel’s life “went for a toss”. “One after the other, life shot him with a dart, and like a broken arrow, he fell apart.” </p> <p>No, that’s not OUR lame joke on you. That’s Patel’s lame joke on the world. If you STILL don’t know what we are talking about, search for Patel’s musical rap(e) attempt, ‘Apni kahani apni zubaani’ on the internet. After seeing the video, you’ll understand why Patel would want to kill himself, and honestly, we’d not hold it against you, if you’d want to kill yourself too.</p> <p><strong>5. Archana Puran Singh</strong><br />Oh wait… we totally forgot that the paralysis ends at the neck… you can’t paralyse that laughter. And oh wait… We were supposed to be talking about men here. (Deliberate pause to imply what needs to be implied) …Oh wait.</p>Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5696336556505629805.post-54091726328372441572011-07-06T05:09:00.001-07:002011-07-06T05:09:27.248-07:00What Women Want.NOTI am shocked by the number of times I’ve heard women listing ‘sense of humor’ as the topmost quality they want in the man of their dreams, over qualities that seems obvious-beautiful face, not Chetan Bhagat, and etc etc. I am ‘shocked’ because from first hand experience, I can assure you, they are lying. <p>I realized very early, that ‘love at first sight’ can only happen if you look like Hrithik Roshan (this doesn’t apply to HARMAN BAWEJA), or if you are standing really, really far way from the girl and if, well, the girl likes to fall in love with people who are really far away. Unfortunately I don’t look like Hrithik Roshan and I am very recognizable from really really far away, so I realized ‘Love at first sight’ is not the thing for me. So I decided to entice women with my superhuman stock of ‘Knock Knock’ jokes.</p> <p>But that was in vain too. I spent an entire childhood trying to make girls laugh at my jokes but failed miserably… because, let’s face it, the joke kind-of dies at ‘Knock Knock?’ ‘Get lost, loser!’. But I didn’t give up. I had to try and get girls to relate ‘funny’ with my personality, and not just my looks. So I’d prepare jokes at home, memorize them in my superhero brain, and then, during an ongoing conversation with a hot girl, try and intelligently, shrewdly and carefully take the conversation in the direction of the topic I had a joke prepared on. Something like this:</p> <p><strong>Me: Hey, hot girl.</strong></p><strong> <p>Hot girl: *Puke*</p> <p>Me: Oh, speaking of which, did you hear this joke about racism, religion, chauvinism, ugly people and anything else that would be sure to offend you in general?</p> </strong><p><strong>Hot girl: *Complains to teacher*</strong></p> <p><strong>What Women Want. NOT.</strong><br />It took me more failures than Uday Chopra to understand that being called funny by a girl, is NO.4 on the list of things girls calls guys, whom they don’t want to be their boyfriend, after ‘bhaiyya’, ‘NICE PERSON’ and a ‘MANAGEMENT GRAD’ (All of which I soon ended up becoming TOGETHER, by the way).<br />Here’s a fact: I was reading a magazine’s ‘Most Desirable Men’ list (I had bought the magazine because of the bikini girl on its cover and NOT because of this list, I swear)… and guess what I found on it? Names of allll 5-6 and above-pack guys. Guess who I DIDN’T find on it? Johnny Lever. Rajpal Yadav. Archana Puran Singh. ME. </p> <p>Seriously, even if you take the most not good looking guys who have something else going for them (good body, good relatives, good profession) and compare them with the funniest guys with similar perks, the results are obvious:</p> <p><strong>Abhishek Bachchan – Not funny. Is married to AISHWARYA RAI. </strong></p><strong> <p>Vs</p> <p>Govinda – Very funny. Not married to Aishwarya Rai.</p> <p>Harman Baweja – Not funny. Dated PRIYANKA CHOPRA.</p> <p>Vs</p> <p>Navjot Singh Siddhu – Very funny. Came close to dating Shekhar Suman.</p> <p>Emraan Hashmi – Not funny. Kissed MANY HOT GIRLS.</p> <p>Vs </p> </strong><p><strong>Ritesh Deshmukh – Very funny. Was offered Dostana.<br /></strong></p> <p>And that’s the truth of the matter, people. Let’s not lie to the world and admit it once and for all – Funny guys in males are the equivalent of BHARTIYA NARIS in females. Everyone wants to marry them, but no one wants to have sex with them. </p> <p>Sigh.</p>Krishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10406746566407718636noreply@blogger.com1