I am that jerk you shouldn't call!!

I still don’t understand why people call me up for relationship advice? Why? In my opinion, if by any chance in the future there are three human beings alive in this planet, you me and your partner and you need relationship advice, you should talk to the blue sky rather than me. I shouldn't be even the last person to call up for a relationship advice. But, people do and surprisingly, they claim that my advice has helped them.

Personally, I believe I am a complete jerk when it comes to relationships. I find maintaining friendship with a few people a strain. All the pre-requisites of a ‘relationship’ bother me. I can’t talk over the phone for more than 15 minutes (unless the subject is my favourite sport or politics), my weekends are normally filled with football or Sit-Coms (illegally downloaded), I don’t have any answer to the question ‘how was your day?’ and a hell lot of other things that are needed to maintain a relationship that won’t make my partner a serial killer (me being the first victim of hers).

Yet the people call. A friend of mine called me up this evening to discuss about the latest mistake that he is going to commit. I told him what I’ll do in his place (which is not the best advice to be honest) and then I realised, why these people call us? I have come to two conclusions and either of them might be right or wrong (there is a bit of Schrodinger in each one of us). First, they call me to get the outside view, a view that most normal people shouldn't give and secondly, I think they call me up to know what not to do because whatever I do, while in a relationship (I have been an unbelievable jerk), shouldn't be done.

The next time you are having partner issues and you pick your phone to call me up. Think again, one press of a button might ruin your life.

Relationship Advice (free ka hai, le lo): If it’s complicated then it is not going to work out. A relationship should be like Philips, Sense and Simplicity.