The World Says Move On And I Ask , How?

When a relationship fails—especially between two individuals—unexpected events unfold. This is so because when a relationship is blooming, neither of the two parties bother to prepare themselves for the period when either of them would have to do without the other person in question.

That scenario is never entertained. In fact, a mere mention of the possibility of such a happenstance is considered a jinx. The fear of a relationship breaking up at seams is so high that when it actually takes place, we are scared beyond reality and scarred beyond imagination. It's quite palpable that not both the parties would have the same inclination towards each other. One of the two would very well—like they love to say nowadays—"move on" in style although that's something I'm yet to grasp.

How can people move on? Especially when you've invested time, energy and the potion called love into one person for an interesting amount of time. Especially when a piece of you is left in that person who has apparently moved on and you're supposed to move on from. Especially when it felt so real and eternal.

Maybe that's why it hurts one fine evening when you weren't expecting the memories to flood in. Because you thought you were done. Surprise, surprise! You never were and you never will be. That's not how a human heart works. We are animals, yes, but we are not the kind that takes a life for granted. We are the ones who look into each other's eyes and synchronize heartbeat. I shudder to imagine how it'd feel like when two heartbeats are out of sync.

What An Idea Sir Ji .... But It Will Ruin You

Love is a funny thing. It fills you with hate sometimes. For yourself, not others. You see, love is an idea. Being a warm blanket of your own creation, the badass L-word tricks you into believing that you’re a needy creature. Consequentially, all the arrogance that you once so openly manifested goes into the drain. As quietly as possible—if you’re lucky enough. Your former belief that you’re emotionally sovereign doesn’t stand true either. Throughout, every idle second, you’re seeking a moment of respite with your beloved. Since accommodation and distance are issues you can’t fight anymore, you get a room for two in your head. You don’t do much though. Just lie with the side of your arms touching each other and stare at the ceiling. You can almost hear yourself breathe. You don’t even wish to say anything or whisper sweet nothings. Words can not only have a mind of their own but also deceive. It’s lot better to shut up and soak. You just stay put. This is the closest you get to becoming a film director!

It’s a warm place to be. The only trouble being you don’t want to leave it but you’ll have to. If not now, then. Which will also mark the precise moment you’ll be hurt by the cold realities. Over a period of time, you'll be immune to the grief that this solace eventually presents you. As a result, you’ll continue to escape to that magical room with no walls or windows but only a ceiling to look up at.

Don’t worry. Your sanity won’t be affected. Only your insanity is at risk. In the grand scheme of things, you fell for someone only to lie down again and again. It's obvious that you are addicted to the idea, sweetheart. You’re officially ruined.

Her Gaze

When a child peeks out of the window, what does she see? A world annexed by adults who are impossibly taller than her. She can't help wonder what lies beyond what she's able (or should we say, allowed) to look at. There's so much going on and so many words exchanged.

Most of them don't even make sense to her innocent mind. Regardless, she likes being alive and part of this fledgling scheme called family. She finds comfort in love and friendship. It's only when she moves away from the living room towards the window that questions flood her.

The trick behind growing up hasn't really hit her yet. As of now, she's the only constant in this ever-mobile universe. Amazing! She stands there short with her eyes stretching wide open. Someday, she'll be on the other side of the window. The only problem is, will she seek answers or will she keep moving like the rest of us? 

Memories

The idea of disappointing her troubles him. So what does our hero do? He ponders. Deeply. About the various possibilities that lay ahead of them. This makes him starkly pessimistic but utterly realistic.

Success has been alien to him for the major part of his life. So he goes ahead with the thought "I don't wish to disappoint her...blah bla" and then does what he has to do. At least what he presumes he has to do. Guess what he does. He creates memories. Loads of them. Good, bad, silly, forgettable. But he creates them with her as sincerely as possible. Because at the end of the day, they aren't in a worldly relationship. They don't stick to labels or vice versa. They are what the purists can call soul mates. And they might be mistaken too. What they can't be wrong about are the memories. Besides, you can't add an ex- to memories.

Memories flourish whether you like them or not. The thought process involved is almost sacred. Like them. Perhaps why he thinks "I don't want to disappoint her again...blah bla" before going back to her. Repeatedly.

I am that jerk you shouldn't call!!

I still don’t understand why people call me up for relationship advice? Why? In my opinion, if by any chance in the future there are three human beings alive in this planet, you me and your partner and you need relationship advice, you should talk to the blue sky rather than me. I shouldn't be even the last person to call up for a relationship advice. But, people do and surprisingly, they claim that my advice has helped them.

Personally, I believe I am a complete jerk when it comes to relationships. I find maintaining friendship with a few people a strain. All the pre-requisites of a ‘relationship’ bother me. I can’t talk over the phone for more than 15 minutes (unless the subject is my favourite sport or politics), my weekends are normally filled with football or Sit-Coms (illegally downloaded), I don’t have any answer to the question ‘how was your day?’ and a hell lot of other things that are needed to maintain a relationship that won’t make my partner a serial killer (me being the first victim of hers).

Yet the people call. A friend of mine called me up this evening to discuss about the latest mistake that he is going to commit. I told him what I’ll do in his place (which is not the best advice to be honest) and then I realised, why these people call us? I have come to two conclusions and either of them might be right or wrong (there is a bit of Schrodinger in each one of us). First, they call me to get the outside view, a view that most normal people shouldn't give and secondly, I think they call me up to know what not to do because whatever I do, while in a relationship (I have been an unbelievable jerk), shouldn't be done.

The next time you are having partner issues and you pick your phone to call me up. Think again, one press of a button might ruin your life.

Relationship Advice (free ka hai, le lo): If it’s complicated then it is not going to work out. A relationship should be like Philips, Sense and Simplicity.

The 'PM' essay.

Remember those school days when they asked us to pen imaginative essays on 'If I were the Prime Minister blah blah'? If only I was enlightened enough then to begin my first and final paragraph as follows:

If I were the Prime Minister of this chaotic country, I’d have not wasted a minute on writing this silly piece of garbage. Besides, there's hardly any probable merit attached to this futile exercise when all that matters is the score a student grabs at the end of the term—forget his/her reading skills, pronunciation or the ability to sustain a conversation in English. No offence to the authority. Just that I’d be having far more important things to deal with if I was the PM. Like making sure more concrete steps are undertaken to educate our kids in a manner that will make them feel learned and proud of their mother tongue, not forcefully Anglicized with an overdose of lingual superiority complex.

Nice try though, teacher.

Sincerely yours,

Honorable Prime Minister of India.

PS: Don't forget to vote.

Crazy, Stupid. How?

Love is one-quarter deaf, half blind and a quarter mute. I arrived at this conclusion after realizing that I’ve never really been in love since my vote became acceptable. Nor have I felt deafness, blindness and muteness at a fixed proportion. Though the whole business of propositioning a girl with promises still intrigues me, I haven't asked anyone out yet. I've had moments that lasted a few days here and there but I never felt the urge to envision a life with someone. That's what folks in love do, right? Apparently, it requires courage and a level of selflessness that I stunningly lack. Not a single night has passed by when I couldn't sleep because I was thinking of someone. Nor a day has greeted me to shake me off my daydreaming spree. Maybe I’m too idealistic for my own good. Put in a sentence, my idea of love is simpler because it doesn't prescribe to any condition and is bereft of pretensions. It doesn't require someone to be something. It's either there or not. Almost all my friends turned cosmic-eyed when they confessed they had feelings for someone they never ended up with. That never happened to me. Too much exposure to Manchester United, poetry and existential thoughts can do so to anyone. In unrelated news, not very long ago, a friend of mine told me that I’ll never be happy because I bask in my loneliness. The exact words were "How can you be so consumed by yourself?" before my mind-screen went blank. All I remember from that conversation is a concerned voice. It didn't belong to me. I was three-fourth blind and a quarter mute.