Friday, October 19, 2012

A letter to innocence(not quite)



Dear me@16,
This letter will reach you just before you hit the worst time of your life. But it’s alright, as you won’t be this young ever and you will grow up quicker than you will realize. And one day, 7 years down the line, you will find yourself writing a blog about how you could have done things differently. At that moment, you will be short of words while being busy of finding better excuses.

I understand you are not sure about what you want to do with life. Chill……You are not the only human blessed with the superpower of indecisiveness. All around you are confused, they just pretend that they know the roadmap you must take. At this point, you might be confused about what to take, science or arts. Take arts. You are way too awesome for science and math, and way too good to have a *secured* future. Accept it; you are ‘head over heels’ in love with History and Literature, and you are a closet philosopher.

Pay attention to what I am saying as I reckon you don’t listen to anyone. I know you better than anybody ever will, moron. At this point, you might be basking in the glory of being termed ‘cute’ by girls. Here is a reality check; you will be quite a disaster, when it come to relationships. Disaster is a small word, you will be catastrophic. I am going to assure you, it won’t be for the lack of trying. You will be having a string of “relationships” (I won’t give you the number, you will become giddy) but none of them will work out. Here is a small advice from your wiser self, show a lit bit more patience with a few girls; it will pay-off eventually (hopefully). You are Gemini; you will always have a way with words but show a little bit more patience.

Spend more time with your father; he won’t be around for too long now. Appreciate the man that he is and share everything with him. Somewhere down the line, you’ll realize that he is your best friend and will always remain like that. You will still shed tears for him, even seven years down the line.

Look after yourself. You are already quite heavy (that won’t stop you from having the girls), workout, run, swim, do anything that will tone you done. A back problem is coming up, so be prepared.  Get in touch with your old friends, coz you will turn out to be someone who will keep losing friends. Learn to make friends, you will need it. Send a common “thank you” letter to all your teachers and tell them what they meant to you (yes, even to the ones you hate or vice-verse). You are not as bad a poet. You could have been worse but don’t give up the art of penning down lines (or typing down words). Keep scribbling. Learn how to play the guitar (I know it’s an old ambition) and please, take singing classes, you do have a good voice. Don’t remain a glorified bathroom singer. Enjoy the Durga Puja as much as you want right now because a time will come when Durga Puja will stop being exciting for you. You must be wondering, ‘this is not the swinging 20’s that I am imagining about’. Nope, it isn’t. You can imagine how you will turn out when you will cancel weekend dates for a particular Football club you support. I won’t spoil the fun for you anymore.

Enough of lame advices! Moreover, there’s no point in talking sense into you anyway.

No matter how much I try, nothing will change. You will commit the same mistakes I did. You’ll learn the same lessons that I learned and finally turn out to be Me@23. It’ll be a fun ride, though at some points you will feel otherwise. Trust me; it won't be that bad. And the one fine morning (1.30 AM), you’ll write what you are reading right now and commend yourself for having an active memory. Like they say, it’s all written……in destiny or on my blog.

Your very own,
Me@23

Monday, October 15, 2012

Bucket List


In my not-so-humble opinion, I believe everybody should have a Bucket List. No, not the DVD of that senior citizen movie (nor the torrent, considering how deep we have gone into the Somalia-less ocean of internet piracy). I mean the real thing. We may not jot down on paper or notepad, in the fear of letting people know what we really want in our life (it will show our true colors) but it always hovers around in the empty part of our mind (in my case a sizable chunk of my mind). These are the stuff that you wish to accomplish and then brag about in-front of His Evilness, devil itself (I have long given up on heaven, too boring for me). The list could include anything from staring at Clint Eastwood in his style and say, "Go ahead, make my day" to visiting El Dorado (it exists) to tapping up a Playboy cover girl (why should Hefner have all the fun??!!). Okay, I got a bit carried away with the last one. Regardless, if you believe you are mortal (sometimes, I don't), then I think you should have a bucket list.

A bucket list is similar to New Year resolutions. Like, on every January we draw up a list of to-dos and then never do them. On the contrary, they do us.. Like that we ought to have a list that addresses our disappointments and the apparent adaptations/modifications required to fill the vacuum of a lifetime. The only difference between a bucket list and new year resolution is that we don't have a movie named after the latter.

Just to give an idea on how a bucket list should not look like, here's mine. It is random to say the least and honest, to say the most. Just lying.

Bucket List #01:-Tame the shrew

Bucket List #02:- Reach the top of Mt. Everest and burp loudly.

Bucket List #03:- Conserve Tulu-speaking tigers (whatever that means).

Bucket List #04:- Find a heart that's made of glass. And break it.

Bucket List #05:- Unlearn to sing in my crowf-ed voice.

Bucket List #06:- Rewrite (in)human history.

Bucket List #07:- Check into Hotel California and then leave.

Bucket List #08:- Fluently talk like Marlon Brando in Godfather sans the toilet paper.

Bucket List #09:- Pen a script on Sir Alex Ferguson's life and then convince Al Pacino to play the 
lead and finance the venture.

Bucket List #10:- Get laid.

Bucket List #11:- Bag a Nobel Prize for letting others win Booker, Pulitzer and whatnot.

Bucket List #12:- Quit passive smoking.

Bucket List #13:- Write a song in favour of arranged marriages just for the heck of it.

Bucket List #14:- Fcuk off for real.

Bucket List #15:- Die on the last Sunday of my life.

Bucket List #16:- Learn break dancing to Vande Mataram in the background.

Bucket List #17:- Discover new colors.

Bucket List #18:- Strike out all the previous nine inanities mentioned and focus hard on #10.

Bucket List #19:- Make an offer that got refused the first time around.

Bucket List #20:- Learn to write the way Obama does with a twisted wrist.

Bucket List #21:- Quit social media sooner or later…whichever happens later.